7 Things The Parents Of Mentally Strong Kids Never Do

If you love your child (and we're sure you do) and want them to be successful, happy, and healthy, then it is imperative that you pay attention to your own behavior. After working with parents and their children for decades, we have come up with this list of the top things the parents of mentally strong kids never do.

When their brain works right, they work right. When their brain is troubled, they are going to have trouble. As you and your child are making decisions about any sports they may be involved in, remember to protect their brain if you want them to be happy, healthy, and mentally strong for the rest of their life.

For example, it is normal for teenagers to want to become more independent and to begin to make their own decisions. Knowing that is a normal part of development makes it easier for you to honor and respect it while still supervising it.

If your motto is "Do as I say, not as I do," you are setting yourself up for trouble. If you lie, cheat, are rude or disrespectful, eat an unhealthy diet, and never address your own health, your child is going to follow your example. So model how you want your child to be.

If you can't empathize with your child, you may alienate them, make them feel like they aren't being understood, or send a message that their feelings aren't valid. Remembering what it was like for you when you were your child's age and all the challenges and struggles you had will give you much more empathy for your child. You'll end up being more helpful to them than if you approach their life from an adult perspective.

Multiple studies1 have demonstrated that the children who grow up to have the most psychological problems had parents who never set appropriate boundaries.

While it can be tempting, it is crucial that you not criticize, put down, or complain about your child's other parent to your child. This not only undermines the effectiveness of the other parent, but it also decreases your child's self-esteem. Your child is a product of both parents, and by saying negative things about the other parent, you are really saying negative things about your child as well.

Adapted with permission from an excerpt of Raising Mentally Strong Kids: How To Combine the Power of Neuroscience With Love and Logic To Grow Confident, Kind, Responsible, and Resilient Children and Young Adults by Daniel G. Amen, M.D., and Charles Fay, Ph.D.