How Tantric Sex Helped Me Find My Life's True Purpose

I was initially drawn to meditation as a way to find relief from anxiety. I was a struggling single mom on medication for depression and anxiety, trying to figure out my path in life. I knew I needed something deeper to help me heal old wounds and get in touch with my life's purpose.

I wanted a practice in which I could be expressed as myself. I'm a sexual being. I'm a sensual being. I embrace everything about womanhood and want that as part of my spiritual practice as well. I want to enjoy being a woman, enjoy beauty, and know that it doesn't take away from being spiritual.

My trip to India nearly a decade ago was my introduction to tantra. I didn't realize there was a practice out there that not only embraces the feminine energy but really taps into your sensual and sexual nature in a very empowering way. In India, I visited temples with erotic carvings of people in every sexual position. I had been raised Christian, with the image of God as a man and definitely not erotic.

In these temples they would dress the goddess statues in colorful silks and even put perfume on them and adorn them with flowers in a devotional way. Instead of cutting off your hair, you put flowers in your hair. Instead of feeling shame or guilt about your body or your sexual desires, you put it out there in the open to be worshiped, revered, and admired. I felt like I had finally found my tribe.

When my tantra teacher asked me, "Do you want to study sexual tantra?" I was taken aback at first. I didn't know what it was. He explained that I would use sexual energy for spiritual enlightenment and as a vehicle to help me find and live my life's purpose. I was like, "Hell yeah! Finally!" This is what I've been looking for. Blending sexuality with spirituality made sense for me.

Tantra originated in ancient Sumeria and Babylon, when people believed the goddess was more powerful than the god. She was the giver of life. Sexuality was spiritual. There were temples run by priestesses where people would come and worship and pray by having sex. At some point, there was a war on the goddess and power shifted from the feminine to the masculine, sexual freedom became sexual oppression, and sex and sexual women were demonized.

I was surprised to find that tantra gave me faster results than regular meditation. I started studying the nonsexual part of tantra to help with anxiety and found that the breath work immediately gave me a feeling of bliss and relieved my anxiety much faster than any kind of meditation I'd ever tried. It not only helps me feel calm and centered, but it's a more energizing type of meditation.

It fuels me with creative and sexual energy, self-empowerment, and helps me live my soul's purpose and passion. I found my life coming together and ideas coming to fruition very quickly after beginning this practice.

This translates out of romantic settings and can be implemented in any interaction. Take a business meeting, for example: The principles of Tantra remind you to make eye contact when you talk, to really listen to what someone says without interrupting or thinking about what you're going to say next, to be open and present, and to exchange positive energy. Using these tools in my everyday life has definitely helped me feel more confident and better equipped to express myself.

Tantra has changed my life. It's given me my life's purpose. It fills me with creative, spiritual, and sexual energy that makes me excited to wake up every day.