How To Know If Someone Likes You: 27 Signs Of Attraction

The only surefire way to know if someone likes you is if they tell you directly—you shouldn’t make assumptions. However, there are a wide variety of clues that may signal how someone feels about you. Here are 18 behavioral and physical signs of attraction to look for, according to sex and relationship experts.

People commonly associate dilated pupils with drug or alcohol use or the experience you might have at an optometrist's office, but someone's pupils dilating when they look at you could also be a powerful sign of attraction.

Sex and relationship therapist Courtney Geter, LMFT, CST, says this nonverbal response is similar to "erection or engorging of the labia or the vulva, [where] the blood vessels open up to allow blood to flow in to cause engorgement, which then causes the nerves to become a bit more sensitive." Just like your skin can't help but tingle when the person you like touches you, your pupils will dilate as they process attraction.

People often blush because they feel angry or humiliated, so context matters with this one. But this involuntary emotional response can also be an indicator that someone is attracted to you. Our faces flush from a rush of adrenaline or excitement—like after an orgasm—because they're the primary source of communication and emotion, says clinical psychologist Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. "Blushing is an honest response," she says, which you can trigger when "you feel 'caught' being sexually excited about another person."

To show you they like someone, people sometimes change their voice when they engage in conversation as a sign of unspoken attraction. Men might deepen their voice to appear more dominant in response to sexual attraction, whereas women may make their voice more high-pitched. Whether it's subconscious or intentional, a person changes the tone of their voice because they want to stand out from the crowd to catch your eye—or your ear, in this case. That'll happen easier if they distinguish their voice from everyone else around you. If you notice you both do this with each other, consider the attraction mutual.

Some body language cues that are signs of attraction in men:

Some body language cues that are signs of attraction in women:

Wherever your love interest falls on the gender spectrum, it's always a great sign they're attracted to you when they smile at you a lot, lean in close as you speak (more on that below), or if they intently face you during a conversation to be fully attentive.

Conversely, you might not want to pursue a date that noticeably pulls away from you when you lean in since that's not indicative of a romantic or sexual dynamic. 

Although opposites attract, people tend to like those they have more in common with—the more alike you are, the more you'll grow to like each other, and the stronger your bond will be.

As your crush talks with you, they may wonder if they have out-of-place hairs or overlooked any spinach in their teeth from lunch. Someone who's into you will do everything they can to ensure their hair and clothes are in check. Watch out for gestures that show they want you to find them visually appealing, especially if the gestures happen when you look away for a moment. If they like you, they'll use that chance to impress by stealing a moment to remove lint from their clothes, adjust the fit of their shirt, or reapply lip balm to present their most supple, moisturized lips. Consider the attempts to adjust various facets of their appearance a signal of their attraction to you. 

Similar to how blood rises to the surface of your skin when you're flushed or blushing, an increase in body temperature will elicit the same physical response, but what follows is sweat because of your rapid heart rate. We often sweat because of physical exertion, stress, or anxiety, but the increase in your body's temperature is also a byproduct of sexual response. "There's some kind of attraction present," Geter notes, "but it might not always be an emotional attraction, so take some time to understand [if they're] having an emotional attraction or just the physical."

Here's the caveat: If your love interest is on the autism spectrum or struggles with social anxiety, Geter says extended eye contact would make them uncomfortable. Rather than assume their lack of interest, she says, "It may just be this one particular behavior is uncomfortable for them, or it's a sign of nervousness."

Granted, nervous glitches could be a sign of someone's disinterest, too. If they check their watch or phone a lot or distract themselves with something on the table rather than give you eye contact, that could mean they're uncomfortable or want to leave.

If you notice someone goes out of their way to spark or extend conversations in person, over the phone, or through text, take that as a good sign. Naturally, you want to talk to the people you like. Not only does this mean they're attracted to you, but this person also wants to foster a connection that goes beyond the surface. They want you to get to know them, and they also want to let you learn more about them, too, in hopes the attraction will be mutual.

On the other hand, a man may place his hand on the crook of your elbow or tuck your hair behind your ear. Plus, there's always this age-old sign: When a guy puts his hand on your lower back to guide you as you walk across the street or onto the dance floor, that's often a sign of attraction.

(You may want to try the famous 36 questions to fall in love, or these conversation starters for couples can also be great for the courtship phase.)

When a person is attracted to someone, they'll remove physical barriers that are between you. For example, if you're at a restaurant, they'll move aside all the condiments, menus, silverware, beverages, and other obstacles to create a clear pathway between you across the table. This lets you into their personal space, makes you feel physically closer, and makes it easier for them to reach out and touch your hand. 

Someone who’s attracted to you will consistently ask to make plans. Instead of waiting for you to do the heavy-lifting, this person will take the lead on how often you spend time together. (Though take note: There’s sometimes a tendency to see women who do this as being “pushy,” so some women may opt out of being this forward.) But in general, if a person only ever asks to hang out last-minute, that may not be a sign of genuine attraction. When a person actually likes someone, they’ll be open to meeting up during the day (not only at night), consider your interests when planning dates, and plan them out in advance rather.

Whether they notice all the minute details or recall the big and small things you share with them, attentiveness can be a sign of attraction because it shows they're concentrating on everything you're saying and trying to build a connection with you. They might surprise you with gifts you mentioned in passing, compliment the haircut you thought no one would notice, or send you a thoughtful text because they know you appreciate it. 

An unprompted introduction to someone's friends and family often means they think highly enough of you to bring you into the intimate parts of their life. Plus, they know they'll receive tons of opinions about you from their social circle, so if that's a risk they want to take for you, consider this move as a sign of attraction from the object of your affection. Even if you haven't been on an official date yet, this move shows they want to parade you around and invest in your burgeoning relationship.

When in doubt, if you're not sure if someone likes you, just ask.