8 Real Reasons Women Cheat In Relationships, According To Experts

In the past, there have been more significant differences in the reasons why men cheat and why women cheat, with men cheating more for sexual variety and women cheating more because of relationship dissatisfaction. But nowadays, that gender gap in infidelity is closing: Men and women cheat for many of the same reasons and at similar rates.

"Women cheat for many reasons, just like men do," AASECT-certified sex therapist and licensed counselor Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., tells mbg.

The same study found another top reason women cheat is that they've fallen out of love with their current partner. Even if the love is still there, in general a woman who's unhappy in her relationship may be more inclined to cheat. Whether because of anger, home, financial problems, family trouble—the list goes on—they may feel cheating will offer them what their current relationship isn't.

The third top reason for women cheating, according to the study? It was just situational. Things like being drunk and "not thinking clearly."

Low self-esteem can create a desire for outside validation, psychologist Margaret Paul, Ph.D., explains. This might be particularly true if the person isn't receiving validation from their current partner, but Paul notes it's really the lack of self-love that can push someone to cheat.

"Mainly what I've seen," Paul tells mbg, "is people cheat when they're not taking responsibility for themselves or taking care of their own feelings—when they don't develop the ability to speak up for themselves in their current relationship. They're abandoning themselves in numerous ways and because of that they're needy for outside attention."

Research suggests that men are more likely to cheat in committed relationships. One 2016 study suggests that on average, 20% of men have cheated versus 13% of women. Interestingly, women in the 18-29 age group actually cheated slightly more than men. Though as the years go on, fewer women cheat while more men cheat, and the gap gets wider over time.

"People often have a feeling that their partner is cheating," Paul notes. "The energy shifts when someone is cheating, and people almost always say 'something changed' or 'something was wrong.'"

To be cheated on can sever the trust of an otherwise healthy relationship—and to be the cheater can leave one feeling guilty, confused, and unsure of how to move forward. Perhaps you just discovered your partner is cheating, or maybe you're the one who did the cheating. Either way, it's important to address it if you want to move forward, whether that means staying together or breaking up.

Let your partner know you need to talk to them about something important, and take some time to think about how you want to approach the conversation.

Couples' therapy may be a good option to encourage a healthy and productive discussion. "Therapy can help to move forward after an affair," Nelson says. "Find a therapist who has experience treating erotic recovery—someone who is judgment-free and will support you in your journey toward a new monogamy."

Cheating is, in all honesty, not that uncommon. If it happens in your relationship, that doesn't mean it has to be the end of the road for the two of you. Nelson and Paul both say recovering from cheating is possible—and can be well worth it in creating a stronger relationship than you had before.

If you're both on board, with time, you can start rebuilding trust so you're stronger than ever.