Why My Self-Love Routine Wasn't Complete Until I Started Doing Breathwork

The idea of self-love can seem a bit washed out and even overwhelming these days. After all, loving yourself is about so much more than self-care rituals like face masks and bubble baths—so how do we really love ourselves, and what easy tools or practices can help us get there?

When I first wrote my book, The Self-Love Experiment, I knew self-love was about self-acceptance and compassion. But almost six years (and an emergency room visit, fibromyalgia diagnosis, multiple rock bottoms, and a spiritual awakening) later, I've learned self-love is really about self-respect and knowing your worth, and this is something we must show up for daily.

I thought I loved myself, but after decades of people-pleasing behavior, neglecting my own needs, and unconscious patterning, my body broke down and so did my mental health. Diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, and bedridden for days with chronic pain, I knew something needed to change. With a broken heart, body, and spirit, I started to see how this way of living attracted a lot of unhealthy dynamics, creating a tone of rejection, betrayal, and abandonment in my life. Wondering why my unconditional love for others was never being received or appreciated in the same manner, I learned that hiding my feelings and sacrificing myself for others was at the root of my problems.

As certified breathwork teacher and trainer (and my go-to healer in Mexico) Xavier Olazabal says, breathwork is a method of deep self-exploration and a form of spiritual development. The purpose of breathwork is to use breathing as medicine, healing, and cultivating self-knowledge in a safe, respectful, and therapeutic context.

Breathwork is also a form of active meditation. By consciously focusing on your breath, says breathwork teacher Gwen Dittmar, "The practice gives the brain something to focus on, so you can bypass the mental level of consciousness and drop into a deeper state of consciousness, where healing, spirit, and love reside."

Overall, the benefits are vast, from regulating our nervous system, improving our sleep, balancing blood pressure, and allowing certain feel-good chemicals in our brain to circulate, like dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin, according to Olazabal.

Plus, the possibility of more self-awareness, alignment to your inner knowing, as well as a better understanding of life's challenges is inevitable. As the breath opens meridians and channels and aligns your body with its inherent and universal energy, healing happens. There is no need to think, process, or figure anything out after a session. And to know you can receive clarity and peace without thinking, Dittmar says, is revelatory.

That said, because breathwork can result in intense physical and emotional release, it is not advised for people with a history of cardiovascular disease, severe mental illness, or seizure disorders to participate without consulting a doctor they trust. Aside from that, it is a safe practice for anyone to try.

In a breathwork session, there is controlled breathing led by the trained facilitator. You'll be guided to breathe at a rapid rate for a set amount of time, which will help bring in altered states of consciousness.

Sessions are usually done in a group and facilitated by a certified practitioner, and there's often music to assist in the transcendent process. As you start the active breath, you will increase the level of oxygen in the body. You're oxygenating the blood, stimulating the hypothalamus gland, and releasing endorphins in the body.

You may feel a range of sensations, such as thinking new thoughts, uncovering buried beliefs, processing hidden emotions, or feeling new sensations in the body (i.e., tingling, numbness, lightheadedness, feeling hot or cold, surges of energy pulsing, etc.). Rest assured, this is all part of the process, as energy is moving through your body and addressing imbalances and releasing them.

A full breathing session can last anywhere from 10 minutes to one to two hours. After your session, you might be guided to draw a mantra card from an oracle deck, share your experience, and have a discussion with the group.

The following style of breathwork is my personal favorite, as it helps you to move out of your (overthinking) mind to drop more fully into your (ever-knowing) heart.

This is an active breathing ritual that combines an ancient two-step breath technique with contemporary, high-vibrational music. It creates a healing experience that allows you to tune inward, move past conscious awareness into an altered state, and understand your own needs, abilities, blocks, and deepest desires.

It will also activate the solar plexus chakra, which is all about emotional protection. According to Dittmar, this practice allows you to release the stuck energy that has been unconsciously dormant in the body or energetic system. Once these energies are addressed and released, there is more space for your inherent life force to flow through you.

Breathwork is completely safe to practice every day, but I personally don't do a full-length experience daily. I will often do shorter (five- to 10-minute) practices throughout my week to shift energy and get in energetic alignment.