How To Let Your Crush Know You Have Feelings

Each choice comes with unique challenges, so following a few simple guidelines can help you confess your romantic feelings with confidence. 

That's why it's smart, except in a few specific situations, to put off the whole "confessing my feelings" drama and begin by initiating some low-stakes conversations with your crush. Keep in mind that your crush could have zero idea why you're approaching them, so you want to give this person time to develop curious feelings about you, too.

"If someone is receptive and the path is clear for you to date, you don't have to overthink it. Just talk to them," says Court. "Ask them lots of questions about themselves. Don't pretend to be uninterested or distant. Don't wait hours and hours to reply to their texts because you want to seem cool. At the same time, don't abandon your other relationships or plans to pursue someone. Approach it like a fledgling friendship."

When it comes to matters of the heart, it can be extremely tempting to jump into your crush's DMs to tell them how attractive you find them. However, if you've developed feelings for someone whom you see around on a regular basis—say, a friend of a friend—wait until you have a private moment with them to ask them out. In case you're stumped, here are a few lighthearted openers:

For instance, if you've been friends with your crush for a long time, and you know that admitting your feelings might upset the balance of your existing relationship, it can actually come off as thoughtful if you write a note to your pal and tell them they can think on it and get back to you. Just know that anything other than an in-person request for a date or a casual text message is going to come across with gravitas. Consider how much this will impact your relationship with an acquaintance, casual friend, or otherwise. If admitting your feelings puts anything between you up in the air, you're actually doing the person a service by giving them some immediate breathing room.

"Crushes can be exhilarating but also painful and consuming," she says. "It's so human to develop feelings for someone who's in a closed relationship, lives a thousand miles away, or is otherwise unavailable." Even if you discover that you're not going to be able to act on your feelings, you are not alone.

If your crush isn't interested in pursuing something romantic between you, they're actually doing you an immense favor by telling you outright. If you're being let down easy, return the favor by making the interaction as pleasant and casual as you can. Once you're out of your crush's sight, feel free to process your disappointment by any means necessary!  

However, if the relationship is a close one, and you know that backing off will affect your interactions in a big way, you can let the person know that you need space with words like, "Thanks for being honest with me! It was hard for me to work up the courage to tell you how I was feeling. I do want to go back to being friends, but I need a little space first. I hope that in time things will return to normal."

Whether your crush's answer is a yes or a no, a crush can be a good thing. You'll learn something from the experience of desiring another person. Even then, no two crushes feel exactly the same, and each one can tell you something new about yourself. Remember that you're very likely to develop different feelings for someone else down the line, too: It's just a messy and exhilarating part of being a person.