What It Means To Be A Hopeless Romantic + How It Can Affect Your Dating Life

The feeling of romantic love is unmatched. For some, the desire to have it is so strong that they're compelled to create it in their minds and with people with whom it doesn't exist. But not just any ordinary old love. The storybook-worthy version is much more alluring to a hopeless romantic. You might be one of them if you find yourself dreaming about grand declarations of adoration and a butterfly-inducing relationship that rivals your favorite fictional couple. Here's what that means and how it can affect your dating life.

It may sound wonderful to fall in love with ease and always have a favorable view of relationships. That's certainly more productive than a negative approach. However, reality rarely matches our fantasies, which is where hopeless romantics may struggle.

To address the situation, you first need to identify yourself as belonging to this group of eternal optimists. Here are a few things to look for in making that assessment:

Early on, "you're hyper-focused on the traits that made you fall in love," Jackson adds. So even if you see the red flag, you likely ignore it or reject the notion altogether—convincing yourself it's not what it appears to be. But ignoring a problem doesn't make it disappear. Soon you're unable to look the other way.

When you idealize your significant other, you don't see them as they are. You see them as you want them to be. Aside from ignoring red flags, you establish impractical expectations of a partner because you're measuring them against the image in your mind.

Many people might anticipate where they'd like to get married or their potential wedding song. It's when these thoughts become frequent and detailed without imminent cause (i.e., getting engaged) that you may be venturing into fantasy land, according to Jackson: "If you have your wedding planned, how you want everything to be, and are just waiting to *insert partner*," you're a textbook hopeless romantic.

Sometimes you're the bomber, doing everything in your power to make someone love you and being exactly who you think they want. That is until you realize you're not in the relationship you imagined and bounce. Once the spark is gone, so are you. Other times, you're the one who's bombed. It's easy for you to fall for early false promises and manipulative demonstrations of devotion because the rapid progression follows your fairy-tale script.

Relationships aren't always a 50/50 give and take. Sometimes it's 60/40 or 70/30. But if you always seem to be on the heavier side of the giving scale, it's likely because your partners aren't as invested. That could mean your feelings and subsequent actions are a bit hasty. Or you're trying too hard to materialize your vision. (Here's how to know if you're in a one-sided relationship, FYI.)

Hopeless romantics pursue their happily-ever-after with reckless abandon. "They tend to invest everything into the person they're dating," Allen comments. "To the point where they start to neglect their friends and even their own interests or hobbies." You dedicate all of your time, energy, and effort to chasing an emotional high, so much so that you lose yourself along the way.

And importantly, you can be a romantic without being hopeless. If there's no pattern in your life of the above behaviors or situations, you may only be a hopeful, intentional lover.

Being a hopeless romantic isn't an innate shortcoming. It's what you do with the knowledge that makes all the difference. If you allow your emotions to get away from you and ignore reality in favor of your romanticized version of a relationship, you may have a tough time in the dating world. However, if you're aware of your default mindset and can keep it in check enough to let things naturally unfold, you should be fine. Dream on.