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I Tested Dating Apps To Find The Best For Serious Relationships

Kesiena Boom, M.S.
Author:
October 08, 2024
Kesiena Boom, M.S.
By Kesiena Boom, M.S.
mbg Contributor
Kesiena Boom, M.S., is a sociologist and writer. She has a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from the University of Manchester and a master’s degree in Gender Studies from Lund University.
October 08, 2024
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My top picks for the best dating apps for serious relationships

As someone on the hunt for a serious relationship, I'm a huge fan of dating apps. They're more than dating platforms—apps have revolutionized the way people meet and connect.

But as much as I love the apps, I also know they can be a one-way ticket to another situationship when used incorrectly. Eager to cut through the chaos of online dating, I went straight to dating experts for their recommendations of the best dating apps for serious relationships—and then I downloaded each and every one for firsthand testing.

My goal: Swipe on every suggested app and go on at least one date (though that final step proved harder for some apps). From there, I curated my final list of the very best dating apps for a long-term commitment. Below find my final picks and first-hand testing experience.

The best dating apps for serious relationships

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View on eHarmony

Dating App by eHarmony

Best for serious relationships
Known for
Serious relationships
Main age demographic
30+
Available on
IOS, Android
App rating:
4.0/5.0
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

Extremely thorough matching process

Compatibility scores for every potential match

Lower risk of time wasters due to cost

Large active user base

Detailed profiles

Cons

Almost no capability with free membership

Many people still don't have detailed profiles

Takes a long time to set up

Why I picked eHarmony

You won't be surprised to find eHarmony earning a top spot in many of our roundups; the company claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the U.S., according to couples' therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS

The esteemed dating app features a lengthy (but thorough!) questionnaire that sets it apart from its competitors. While some users find the questionnaire too long, it's key to eHarmony's sophisticated matching algorithm, which connects users based on deep-rooted compatibility factors, like your views on the world.

My personal experience

As someone who has been looking for a serious relationship for several years, it was exciting to see a dating app with so much success matching singles. When I signed up for the app, however, I struggled with the quiz. I couldn’t relate to the majority of questions they asked.

For example, one of the quiz questions is “What makes you most interested in someone?” The multiple choice answers were their career, financial security, health and fitness, warm-heartedness, or appearance, and I was required to pick two—but I only felt connected to warm-heartedness.

Additionally, the activities they list—sailing, equestrian, shooting, and cricket—were not relatable for me. I don’t do any of these activities, and the things I do really enjoy, like slacklining, are not listed (and there isn’t an option to write them in). You also have to report your income in the quiz, which doesn’t sit right for me.

Overall, the app feels geared toward traditional relationships and values. If these interests, values, and questions are important relationship criteria for you—they are for many people!—then this app could be a great fit. My relationship goals are just slightly less traditional.

Cost

  • 6 months: $359 ($59.84 per month)
  • One year: $388 ($32.25 per month)
  • 2 years: $699 ($29.13 per month)

Don't miss our full eharmony review to learn about the app's best (and worst) features!

Tawkify

Best for working professionals
Known for
Serious relationships
Main age demographic
30+
Available on
Desktop
App rating:
N/A
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

Skips swiping by working with a matchmaker

Vets all candidates to ensure they're a good match (no algorithm needed)

Hand-selected matches based on criteria

Can join database for just $10 month

Cons

Matchmaking services are expensive with little price transparency

Blind date setup with minimal contact prior to meeting

Only three "dealbreakers" allowed per person

Why I picked Tawkify

Meeting your partner online no longer requires hours of swiping—or at least not with Tawkify. The premium service ditches old school algorithms in favor of a matchmaker (and believes this swap makes all the difference).

Every new client partakes in an onboarding questionnaire that vets intentions, education, and career aspirations (along with age and location). This information helps Tawkify decide whether it's the right fit for you rneeds.

After an onboarding call to select your membership preferences, Tawkify experts curate your matches and plan dates based on your preferences. If you're sick of the same only endless scroll, Tawkify's curated process is for you.

My personal experience

I found the sign-up process for Tawkify to be super simple. You just take the brand's on-boarding survey to ensure you're a good fit for Tawkify's service. [Per the brand, it's important to never offer the service to someone who won't benefit.]

The questionnaire asks basic questions like your age, location, and sex. However it quickly goes intimate with questions about your career aspirations and income—which better showcase why Tawkify is a great match for working professionals.

Once the brand approves your application, you'll build a mini profile and connects with a brand specialist to talk about membership. This brief intro call walks you through membership options for either 3, 6, or 12 matches. Pricing is not share upfront, so expect some flexibility in negotiating.

If you're not ready to spend on matchmaking just yet (it's me!) then you can opt to join the member database for $10 per month to show up for those using the service. The entire call felt extremely personable and my membership coordinator spoke highly of her experience with (and belief in) the company. While I wouldn't consider Tawkify the best option for everyone, it's well-suited to those who have limited time to swipe and the funds to have someone else take over the busywork of scrolling.

— Braelyn Wood

Cost

Tawkify does not share pricing for its membership services. However, it does offer multiple levels to suit different budgets curated by the number of matches offered by the brand.

Membership options
  • 3 Matches
  • 6 Matches
  • 12 Matches

Match

Best paid dating site
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+
Known for
Serious relationships
App rating
3.8/5.0
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

The OG dating site

Price means everyone is serious

Can effectively filter out qualities you're not interested in

One-on-ones with dating experts

User friendly interface

Cons

Have to pay to get anything out of it

Why I picked Match

As one of the oldest dating sites to grace the web, Match has accumulated a user base of over 30 million people, and we're not surprised. The dating app has facilitated 517,000+ relationships, culminating in 92,000 marriages.

When registering, users must fill out a detailed questionnaire that includes basic questions like who you're seeking (men or women), what your average match looks like, and your favorite hobbies.

The more the better in this case, as the more information you share when setting up your profile, the better your matches will be. Its interface is fairly simple to use and you can see all your matches and chat conversations on both the app and website.

My personal experience

Upon creating a profile on Match, it was clear the site was geared toward serious relationships. While this is aligned with what I’m looking for, the app does not have features to filter for my specific relationship needs. 

For example, when asked your relationship status, the options are “definitely single,” “divorced,” or “widowed.” In fact, the app specifically states “no ‘it's complicated’ allowed.”

While I understand the intention is trying to weed out people who might be in the middle of a divorce or break-up, I wish there was an option for non-monogamous daters.

I’m looking for what I’d call a serious relationship: Marriage and someone to start a family with, but I’m still interested in an open relationship—and Match is not geared toward this. 

There were a few unique features I did thoroughly enjoy about Match. You can filter users by distance from a specific chosen location, as opposed to your current location. At the time I made my account, I was visiting family outside of my home city.

I want to date someone locally, so it was nice that I could still chat and look at profiles of people near my home, even though I didn’t happen to be there at that moment.

Cost

Standard Membership

  • One month: $44.99
  • 6 months: $118.99 ($19.84/month)

Premium Membership

  • 3 months: $116.99 ($39/month)
  • 6 months: $129.99 ($21.67/month)

Is it time to download Match? Our full Match review can help you decide.

OurTime

Best for daters over 50
Availability
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+
Known for
Serious relationships
App rating
3.9/5.0
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

Designed for people over 50

Reputation for finding love, not just hookups

More affordable than other paid dating sites

Hosts community events

Desktop version is easy to use

Several gender identity options

Cons

Interface feels outdated

Smaller user base than go-to apps like Bumble or Hinge

Why I picked OurTime

OurTime is specifically catered to folks 50 and up, with a user-friendly interface that's easy to navigate.

Unlike other dating apps, OurTime takes a more casual approach and only requires users to fill out a simple "About me" section for their profile. The app will then make suggestions based on the user's profile.

“Catering to singles over 50, OurTime offers a platform for mature individuals seeking serious relationships with people in a similar life stage,” explains Lilithfoxx.

For many, sharing something in common, like being in the same stage of life, is one of the most important elements for building a long-term relationship.

“The primary focus of this service is user-friendliness, and it is possible to have a free account with success in finding matches. Though, the paid accounts are reasonable in cost,” says Lilithfoxx. 

My personal experience

Since I’m not 50 or over, I spoke with a friend who tried OurTime, and she said her favorite part of OurTime is that most of the users she saw had written a bio—there weren’t many blank profiles. 

Not just that, but people also described themselves in their own voice, which she said helped her connect with them.

My friend also commented on how much she likes the prompts users respond to on their profile, such as “I once got in trouble for” and “a secret only my pets know about me” or “if loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

She was, however, disappointed that even though her preferences were set to “interested in everyone,” she was shown almost all men, and very few women.

Additionally, one of the first questions the app asks when creating your profile is your height and body type, which she says made her comfortable. 

Cost

Subscription starts at $20 per month and increases depending on the payment plan.

OkCupid

Best free dating app
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
30 to 49 years old
Known for
Serious relationships & hookups
App rating
4.3/5.0
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

Free version works great

20+ sexual orientations and 12+ gender identity options

Option for monogamy or non monogamy

Can be used on a mobile device or computer

Cons

Need to answer a lot of questions to get the most out of it

Mobile app makes it challenging to see user’s entire profile

Why I picked OkCupid

Not only is OkCupid the sixth most downloaded dating app in the world, but it's racked up more than 70 million user as of 2023. And the best part? It doesn't trap the app's best features—backtracks, location sorting, travel mode—behind paywalls. 

OkCupid also offers one of the most inclusive experiences of mainstream apps, providing more options for gender, sexuality, and relationship types to ensure users can truly share their most authentic self.

When you join OkCupid, you'll answe detailed questions about your interests and relationship preferences, as well as things like your political views and world outlook, to help connect you with like-minded users.

The app even asks questions like “could you date someone who doesn’t vote?” and then allows you to rate the importance of this question from “a little” to “very.”

On other apps, it can take several dates to even scratch the surface of your values; OkCupid puts these questions front and center, so you can get your deal breakers out of the way before spending time or money on a date. 

My personal experience

Out of all the apps I tried, OkCupid is hands down my favorite dating app for serious relationships. Since creating a profile, it’s the app I check the most and had the most successful dates with.

During the sign-up process, OkCupid asks so many detailed questions, making it much easier to find someone who I’m actually compatible with while I’m still on the app, as opposed to learning basic information on a date. 

While other dating apps like Match.com and eharmony do ask you to answer a long, detailed list of questions, OkCupid’s questions are far more relatable for me.

Not just that, but on OkCupid, you have several opportunities to actually write-in your answers to questions, as opposed to choosing from a set list of hobbies or prompts.

I found myself much more likely to go on dates with people from OkCupid because I can actually get to know people through their profiles.

I also love that there are so many options for you to describe your gender, sexuality, or other parts of your identities that a lot of other dating apps lack. One of the features I liked the most was the options for non monogamy.

If you’re non monogamous, you can actually choose if you’re looking for someone who is single, partnered, or married. I really liked this because while I’m non monogamous, I am not looking for someone who is not partnered or married right now.

I want to find a primary partner to build a family with, who is also interested in having an open relationship now or in the future. 

The only thing that I don’t like about OkCupid is that you have to click through several steps to get to someone’s entire profile.

Price

OkCupid has tiered pricing:

  • Tier 1: Free
  • Basic: from $45/month
  • Premium: from $55/month

Is OkCupid the best free dating app? Here's why we don't think you should pay.

Dating Application by Bumble

Best for men seeking women
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old
Known for
Serious relationships & hookups
App rating
4.3/5.0
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

Attractive interface

Relatively detailed profiles with links to Instagram & Spotify

Free version works great

Cons

You only have 24 hours to message a match

Backtracks, existing likes, and unlimited swipes all cost $$$

Brand recently changed "women message first" structure

Why I picked Bumble

Bumble used to be known as the app where women make the first move, but a recent rebrand opened the door for men to start conversations by responding to your "opening move." Historically we've loved that women felt in control—and experts claimed the setup fostered more respectful conversation that led to relationships.

But now wallflowers and introverts can also make the most of Bumble, which requires matches to start talking within 24 hours of connection. It sounds scary, but we've found it actually creates a sense of urgency to start a conversation.

Overall, we picked Bumble as one of the best dating apps for serious relationships because the app's comprehensive structure grants female users more control over how online dating interactions will go.

Clinical psychologist, Harpreet Kaur Chattha, explains that “Since people are communicating online, they may take more liberties or cross limits more quickly than they do in person, making it feel uncomfortable or threatening for users, especially women.”

Apps like Bumble that give women control of the initial reaction can create a safer, more conducive space to building the kind of connection necessary for a serious relationship.

My personal experience

I’ve been on Bumble for years, and my favorite thing about this app is that women send the first message when you’re dating men. This has both made me feel much safer, limited invasive and rude comments, and reduced dating app fatigue.

It’s far less exhausting to use Bumble because I’m not sifting through messages from random people I’m not interested in. I’m only having conversations with people that I actually want to talk to. 

I also love that Bumble has unique prompts, like “I’ll get along with you if…” or “I’m still not over…” Thinking of opening messages can be exhausting, and when people have fun, quirky facts about themselves, I’m much more likely to build a connection with them and potentially go on a date. 

With that being said, I also see a lot of men on Bumble putting the bare minimum into their profiles. I was surprised by how many profiles I saw that barely had a bio or didn’t answer any prompts.

Price

The free version of Bumble does the trick, but you can pay to unlock more features if you wish.

Hinge

Best for women seeking men
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old
Known for
Serious relationships
App rating
4.5/5.0
See all specs

Pros & Cons

Pros

Attractive interface

Profiles are designed to build connections over shared interests, not just appearance

Friendly to queer folks and ethically non-monogamous relationships

Cons

Expensive premium version

Limited likes on on free version

Best matches can get trapped in "rose" jail (i.e. you have to pay to match)

Why I picked Hinge

At least five members of our editorial team have found their long-term partner on Hinge—and it's a nod to the apps's research-backed matchmaking.

The Hinge Labs team bridges relationship, emotion, and behavioral science with user experience research, business intelligence analytics, and data science to unlock insights about love and dating, the website states.

We also picked Hinge because the app does a great job of offering prompts to spark unique conversation, and it brings profiles to life a bit more than those that are solely photo-based.

If you're tired of swiping left and right, these profiles give you more substance.

Plus, finding a serious relationship on dating apps can take time; many people quickly burn out from the tedious process of thinking of creative intro-lines and greetings.

Hinge cuts down decision-fatigue by giving you creative prompts to respond to and more opportunities to share your personality with daters.

My personal experience

Similar to Bumble and OkCupid, I’ve found Hinge to be one of the best apps for getting to know people’s personalities and starting conversations with daters.

I love that users can like one of my photos or comments and also tell me why they liked it. It’s far more engaging.

The app itself is simple and easy to use, and while Hinge might not be as well known as apps like eharmony or Match for serious relationships, I found it easy to filter for compatibility by simply swiping left on anyone who didn’t specify that they’re looking for a serious relationship.

Cost

Hinge has tiered subscriptions

  • Basic: Free
  • Hinge+: $30/month
  • HingeX: $50/month or $600/year

Is Hinge worth downloading? Our honest Hinge review.

Her

Best for queer women
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old
Known for
Serious relationships & hookups
App rating
4.4/5.0

Pros & Cons

Pros

Designed specifically for queer people

Hosts community events

Interest-based searching

No screenshots allowed when swiping in app (we can only show you our profile!)

Cons

Have to pay to unlock unlimited swipes

Not for queer cis men

Why I picked HER

If you’re queer, trans, or nonbinary, you’re likely well aware of how hard it can be to find dating platforms and spaces that are designed specifically for you, instead of as an afterthought.

Even though most dating apps say they’re for “everyone”, the structure and features often are centered around straight relationships.

“Designed for LGBTQ+ women, HER provides a safe and inclusive space for those seeking serious relationships with like-minded individuals,” says Lilithfoxx. 

We chose HER because the app creates a welcoming space for the LGBTQIA community. Research shows that individuals who identify as gay, bisexual, queer, same-gender-loving, or another non-heterosexual identity have experienced discrimination on dating apps.

So having a secure haven like HER becomes crucial, offering a refuge from potential prejudice and fostering a sense of belonging. And that's just one of many reasons why we included the dating app on our list.

We also picked HER because the app features an 'Add Friend' option for individuals newly navigating their identity, providing a space to build connections before diving into the dating pool.

What makes HER so welcoming? Read our full HER review to learn more.

My personal experience

While I didn’t try HER myself, I spoke to a few friends who did— we’ll call them Amara and Emma to keep their anonymity. Amara and Emma agreed on their favorite features of the app, but had mixed reviews otherwise.

They love that with the free HER subscription, you can actually view everyone who likes you. “It makes the process speedier if you don't feel like swiping through people” says Emma. And Amara agreed, “I haven’t seen this feature for free on another app. It’s nice.” 

Amara added that she had a small dating pool in her area, which may be a result of living in a small rural town. While Emma didn’t have an issue with the number of people, she did get an overwhelming number of unnecessary notifications and there are several features she can’t access without a subscription. “I can’t set ANY preferences without premium so it’s a lot of labor in comparison to other apps.”

Even though this app is designed specifically for queer people, Emma says “I see all of the same people oh HER as I do other apps, so it doesn’t have much use to be honest.”

Cost

HER is free, and offers a Premium membership for $15 per month.

Comparing the best dating apps for serious relationships

ProductPriceCompatibilityFree optionUse on
eharmonyFrom $66/monthIOS; AndroidNoMobile App; Desktop Site
Match.comFrom $22/monthIOS; AndroidNoMobile App; Desktop Site
OurTimeFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App; Desktop Site
OkCupidFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App
BumbleFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App
HingeFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App
HERFrom $30/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App; Desktop Site

Discover more dating apps: Online Dating Tips For Seniors

My testing process

My testing process started with speaking to couples' therapists and dating experts for recommendations. I asked them to share which dating apps their clients found the most success on for something serious.

Ideally, these dating apps all had an active user base, reputation for fostering long-term love, and a wide variety of interests to suit different people's preferences and unique needs.

Once I curated a list of apps to test, I downloaded each one and swiped with potential partners (always aiming to go on at least one date).

Full transparency: I already had quite a few of these apps downloaded, including a few that I've been using for years.

When apps were catered to different demographics—like the LGBTQ+ community or specific religions—I connected with other testers to get their feedback on the apps.

This ensured I got feedback from the people who actually use the app, rather than inferring my own opinions.

How to choose the right dating app for you

The dating market has really exploded exponentially over the last few years, and therefore you have a lot of options to choose from—which can feel a bit overwhelming.

Zrenchik recommends Googling to see which dating sites and apps are most popular in the region where you live and also to even try Googling an important aspect of your identity or a favorite interest plus "dating app" to see if there are any apps that cater specifically to people like you.

You can also use the following questions to help you figure out which app might be best for you:

  • What am I looking for, and which dating app best reflects this? 
  • What does my budget for dating look like right now? 
  • Am I willing to pay for a site beyond a trial period, and how much am I willing to pay?
  • Am I good at answering questions about myself? 
  • Am I good at showcasing my personality mainly through words or through pictures?
  • Do I only want to date someone who shares my religion? 
  • Do I want to know a lot about someone before I meet up with them, or do I prefer more of a mystery? 
  • Do I have the time to answer an in-depth questionnaire about myself?
  • Do I want to use an app that's geared specifically toward LGBTQ people?

How to successfully navigate dating apps when you’re looking for a serious relationship

Be descriptive in your profile

When you write your bio, don’t keep to a word limit. The more you share about yourself, the easier it is to build connections. It’s challenging for a user to start a conversation or find something in common with you if there’s barely anything in their profile.

Being descriptive of yourself and showing your personality on your profile gives other users more opportunity to send you interesting messages and create a connection. 

Get clear about what you’re looking for

While you may already know you’re looking for a serious relationship, get clear on what qualities you’re looking for in a partner and what you want your relationship to look like. This will save you time while filtering through potential matches and allows you to be clear about your expectations upfront.

While for some people setting hard boundaries about what you do and don’t want can feel as though it limits the dating pool, in the long-run, this will help you find someone you’re actually compatible with. 

Invest in the most meaningful conversations

I have limited time and boring conversations starting with “hi” or a “like” on my photo I’ve honestly found to be a waste of time. I now only invest in conversations with people who actually make an effort to send me a thoughtful message, or at the bare minimum say something like “how are you?”

There are so many people who send me a message that clearly indicate they haven’t read my profile and what I’m looking for. We only have so much energy, don’t spend it on people who haven’t even read your bio.  

Choose the apps you feel the best on

I actually enjoyed creating my profile, answering questions, and swiping through users on some apps. On other apps, however, I felt frustrated or struggled to relate to other users. And guess what? I went on the most dates from apps that I actually liked using.

Dating itself can be challenging, add using an app you don’t, and it’s going to be far worse. Use the dating apps that you enjoy the most.

What makes a dating site better for serious relationships than others? 

Dating sites that require a fee, like eharmony or Match.com, can be more conducive to serious relationships than free ones, according to couples and sex therapist Kyle Zrenchik.

After all, people can find hookups easily for free, so being willing to pay indicates a dedication to something more.

Dating apps like OkCupid, which have a big focus on mapping out their users' likes and personalities, are also better suited to finding a relationship than dating apps like Tinder, which mainly focus on people's appearances, notes Zrenchik.

ltimately, what makes the most difference as to whether an app or site is good for a serious relationship is what you yourself are willing to put into the experience.

Finding a serious relationship online requires a lot of vulnerability, energy, and intention. “Ultimately, the effectiveness of any dating app for finding a serious relationship depends on the users' intentions, communication, and willingness to invest time in the process,” says sexologist, LIlithfoxx

Discover more dating apps: Her Dating App Review

Insider Tip:

I have the most success on dating apps when I’m honest and open about what I’m looking for. I'm clear on my dating goals: I’m looking for a marriage and someone to start a family with.

How your dating life impacts your longevity

While dating may not be top of mind when you consider factors that impact your well-being, social connection plays a larger role in longevity than you might think.

In fact, one recent study from 2023 indicated a direct correlation between loneliness and cognitive decline3. When used with intention, dating apps can be a great way to bring connection into your life, thereby enhancing your well-being and improving your longevity.

FAQ

What dating app has the most successful relationships?

Eharmony is known for over two million people that have connected and fallen in love on their site. However, eharmony is specifically for men or women looking for a monogamous relationship, and typically caters toward more traditional relationships.

The most successful dating sites for all kinds of relationships are OkCupid and Match. 

Which free dating site is best for serious relationships?

OkCupid, Hinge, or Bumble are all good choices for free dating apps where you're likely to find people looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right rather than Mr. or Mrs. Just-for-tonight. 

What is the most successful dating site for men?

Bumble is a place where men can really thrive, as the "woman has to message first" feature evens the playing field and encourages a rethink of traditional gender roles—something that many women really appreciate.

Do paid dating sites work better?

Sometimes people need to put their money where their mouth is, as Hartman notes, and it's certainly the case that it can be worth paying for those who want something more substantial than a one-night stand.

However, it just takes meeting that one special someone, and that can absolutely happen on one of the free dating apps. 

What is the best free app for marriage?

The best free app for marriage depends on what you’re looking for in a partner, however there are a few apps that offer the most features for free.

OkCupid has robust settings on their free subscription, and apps like Bumble and Hinge do too.

Which dating site is best for serious relationships?

The best dating site for serious relationships depends on what you’re looking for in a partner and how you build connections with people.

If you have more traditional relationship values, dating sites such eharmony and Match.com might be best for you. If having shared values with your partner and getting to know their personality is your priority, OkCupid, Bumble, or Hinge might be a better fit. 

The takeaway

While looking for a serious relationship can be challenging, dating apps can make finding a long-term relationship easier.

I've found that paid apps like eharmony or Match.com are great options for those who want to really curate their dating pool, while my personal favorite is OkCupid (and it's free!).

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